Caring for an Aging Parent: Money, Trusts, and Family Decisions

What are the first steps?

A simple order of operations:

1. Find, or sign, both powers of attorney.
2. List Mom's income, accounts, bills, and insurance on one page.
3. Hold the first family meeting and assign jobs.
4. Check that her trust owns the house and accounts.
5. Meet an elder law attorney before you move any of her money.

What documents does my parent need first?

Two powers of attorney under the Illinois Power of Attorney Act: one for property and one for health care. Add a will, and often a revocable living trust.

Without these, your family may need a court guardianship, which is slow, public, and costly. Your parent must be able to understand what they sign. Don't wait for a crisis.

Should my parent have a living trust?

Often, yes, especially if they own a home. A revocable living trust lets a successor trustee manage things if your parent can't, without going to court. It also avoids probate at death.

In Illinois, a small estate affidavit can be used only when the personal estate is $150,000 or less, not counting registered vehicles (as of 2026). A trust works only if it's funded. Retitle the house and accounts into the trust's name.

How do we run a family meeting about money?

Pick one calm hour. Invite every sibling, even those who live far away. Cover four things: what Mom wants, what she has, who does which job, and how costs get shared.

Write it down and send it to everyone. Meet again every few months. That is family governance: clear roles, shared facts, and no surprises.

Can I claim my parent as a dependent?

Maybe. If you pay more than half of her support and she meets the IRS income and other tests, you may claim her as a qualifying relative.

Medical costs you pay for her can count toward the medical expense deduction above 7.5% of your adjusted gross income if you itemize (IRS rules as of 2026). Keep every receipt.

Does Medicare pay for long-term care?

Mostly no. Medicare doesn't cover long-term custodial care: help with bathing, dressing, and eating, which is what most aging parents need.

It covers short skilled stays after a hospital stay, with limits. Long-term care is usually paid from savings, long-term care insurance, or Medicaid once assets are spent down.

What is the Medicaid look-back?

When someone applies for Medicaid long-term care, the state reviews gifts and transfers made in the 60 months before applying (federal law, as of 2026). Gifts in that window can delay coverage.

So moving Mom's house to the kids right before she needs care can backfire. Plan years ahead with an elder law attorney.

Can I take time off work to care for a parent?

Possibly. The Family and Medical Leave Act lets eligible employees take up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave a year to care for a parent with a serious health condition (DOL, as of 2026). Ask HR if you qualify.

How do we keep one sibling from carrying the whole load?

Put it in writing. Name who pays bills, who handles medical decisions, and who visits. If one sibling is a paid caregiver, use a written caregiver agreement with fair pay, so the money isn't treated as a gift later.

Share a monthly summary of your parent's accounts. Openness prevents resentment.

How do I protect my parent from scams?

Watch for new "friends," urgent calls, and requests for gift cards or wire transfers. Turn on account alerts and add a trusted contact to brokerage accounts. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has free guides for people managing someone else's money.

What's the difference between a health care power of attorney and a living will?

A health care power of attorney names a person to make medical decisions when your parent can't. A living will states end-of-life wishes in writing.

Many people have both. Give copies to the agent, the doctor, and the hospital your parent uses.

Education, not advice. Every family is different. Talk with your own tax, legal, and financial professionals before you act. Figures are 2026 amounts from the official sources below and can change.